Portrait Of A Spammer

Everyone says ignore the spammers I say make them work for me and take the piss out of them at the same time.

The Spammer:

I wake up in the morning after a sleepless night because my court order ankle bracelet is chaffing like FAUCK FAUCK FAUCK YOU'LL DIE, my tourettes is quite bad today. Why do the police need to know where I am all the time? I swore I'd never go near a school again.

I look at myself in the mirror but not in the eyes and say, "you're a funny intelligent person and well liked, no matter what everyone says." After my daily affirmation its time for some fruit loops then off to the office.

To stay fit I skip to work while smacking two coconut shells together, I'm a unicorn named Dennis. I often stop to accuse people I don't know of being out to get me, its what I do.

sometimesifalloverandithurtmekneewithabashybooboo.

I knew Manuel Noriega was in on it, go on say he'd never do a thing like that, as you have e-mailed with him twice and therefore know him, don't piss on my leg and tell me its raining. Next its oh you are so paranoid, these are the kind of people who get killed in slasher movies.

I work in Information Technology as a cleaner, not of hard drives but of shiny surfaces, its company policy to hire a mentally challenged window licker like on "L.A. Law" I love that show, I watch it every night though it ended years ago and I don't have a TV, I'm special. I tell people I'm an information technologer but spend the day making tea and cleaning when I'm not spamming and arguing with the water cooler.

I use lots of computers when the others are on their lunch breaks and have so many different faces, fuck I'm so clever and your not, I'm a dog, a monkey , a hat stand , several hot girls and one ugly girl, and many boring lords and ladies as I am ashamed of my working class parents, I have nightmares about having to do actual work .

Most of my blogs are victim blogs, these are half-assed boring as fuck blogs so when I spam people and they accuse me I say but look, I'm a blogger a victim myself, Lord Lookin, Goober the dog and monkey nuts comment on me I must a real bone fide blogger, clever huh? disinformation is the key, bloggers are sooo stoopid.

I check into my Nemesis' blog "Old Bitter Balls," yet another fantastically funny post, I don't know how he does it, yes! he has his comment moderation off , now to get the attention from him that I yearn for as he is the father figure and hunk of loving I have always wanted.

:::::sticks tongue out and starts to type::::: "The Monday club said.......wanker wanker wanker wanker wanker "etc :::takes a break:::: "Fiona said........looser looser looser looser "etc ::::::mis-spells it 20 times ah the irony::::::: oh no, Old Knudsen has slapped on his moderation and foiled my efforts to fill up his comment box, this isn't over Old Knudsen someday I shall destroy you for some reason I haven't thought out yet.

Later in the day I try again, but huh? my IP is blocked? I use another server to post ::::sticks out tongue again::::: "Mandy Onslow said....... . . . . . . ." fuck I'm so clever just dots heh heh I may go through a lot of trouble, time and effort but I'm sure Old Knudsen is crying because I type nasty things on his blog, I'm sure hes never gone through anything as bad as this in his life hehe. Nothing good has ever come out of the jungle.

My mother did cheat on my drunken child molesting father by fucking a retarded monkey at the zoo but look at me, do I look I got any of the monkey retardness? (it was actually an ape, did you know that Gorillas have penis' no bigger than a pencil? true fact that, maybe they should have rubbers on the ends)

Oh no there goes the moderation again ,this isn't over Old Knudsen someday I shall destroy you for some reason I haven't thought out yet.

After a hard day of spamming , crap blogging and wiping up coffee spills I stick some sewing needles into my groin.

My life ambitions is to break my father's cycle of abuse, get off probation and destroy Old Knudsen but not in that order, now its off to stalk some of **my old boyfriends**, they think they can change phone numbers and addresses but I find them and their little bunnies FAUK FAUK WE WILL NEVER STOP, sorry there goes the tourettes again .

I wonder why I have no real friends, oh yeah, I know why.




**I never said if this particular spammer was male or female or both.**

The funny thing is that the day before these people that are known to me started to spam me, I was considering taking a break from blogging. Now I can't/won't take a break I just keep making new blogs, they have suceeded in doing the opposite that they wanted to do, well done spammers, here have a banana.

The next post is the spammer's comment, pretty transparent most people can see their lies considering the amount of posts I write and publish a day, I doubt I'll be running out of ideas anytime soon. They are judging me by their own poor lack of imagination.
Sad silly little people.