Gorilla Bananas' Finest Post

A particularly sad post as written by Gorilla Bananas when the spamming started was about Michael Caine and purple underwear, it was boring and unfunny and then it got to this part.

Of course, men have said far coarser things in their desperation to get laid. Many have mentioned the size of their sexual organ in the hope of cajoling a woman into spreading her legs. I know of only one occasion on which this was successful – when Old Knudsen persuaded an ageing prostitute to return home with him after boasting about his “huge cock”. It was the New Year’s Eve of ’89, and home was a rickety shed in a rough area of Glasgow.
When they arrived, Knudsen’s pekingese greeted him in its usual manner by pissing on his ankles.“Ah thooght ye said ye had a huge one!” exclaimed the woman on seeing the dog.For the prostitute, you see, had misheard Knudsen! She thought he’d spoken of his “huge dog” as he slurred his words in an alcohol-soaked stupor.
This had reassured her, as she was worried about getting mugged while working in such a dangerous part of the city.
Thinking that she was referring to his cock, Knudsen dropped his pants.“Whit dae ye caa thes?” he asked, flashing his manly pride.“Och weel!” sighed the woman philosophically. “Ah may as well earn mah fee noo aam here!”But after removing her knickers, she insisted on remaining fully-clothed with her back against a wall, so she could look out for robbers and perverts while Knudie was fumbling about.

The sad truth for the human male is that there are no good lines for getting a woman into bed. He can either chance upon a woman who already wants it, in which case almost any line will do, or he can pay for it like Old Knudsen. It’s no skin off my nose, of course. Ten per cent of my portfolio is invested in a sex doll manufacturer.

What the fuck? is what I'm sure many of his readers thought. I don't know why they started to attack me but I could see that this pathetic excuse for a post was part of it, why is he so bitter that he can't help but have it cum through in his posts?

I responded in amusement because I love to see English people make fools of themselves. I mentioned that I had the fastest cock in the North, I actually meant a racing pigeon, see? even my comment was more funny. Then I mentioned yet again about how Gorillas have tiny willys. In his comments he said:

Knudsen: JJ (Jungle Jane) and I were having bets on whether you'd mention my tiny cock. You never disappoint your fans, Knudie.

I never realised before that Gorillas were slimy and backstabbing, I thought they charged intruders with bravado, goes to show you. I guess the small willy comments hit home a bit too much.